I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize