When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
