Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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