we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
