just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
