Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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