her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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