Do you still have your period?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
