Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
