I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
