who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize