just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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