I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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