She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize