i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He literally asked permission to hit on me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
