oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
