Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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