Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
