I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
