she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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