Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
