The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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