did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
