I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
