We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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