went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
