you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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