he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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