I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
