RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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