gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
