If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't think brook has ever known best
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Randomize