North Korea, Best Korea!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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