girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
