matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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