I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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