According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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