I forgot how hot balto sounded
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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