Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
