I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize