oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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