I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize