I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
