oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
