So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
