ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think i have two assholes
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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