YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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