ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Watching her eat just hurts me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
