Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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