man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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