you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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