i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
from now on my penis is your penis
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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