so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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