look no pants
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
