i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize