I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
