Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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