dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
