Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
