You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
