Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
