i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
