you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize