We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
