i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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