can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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