Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just had sex on a roof
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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