I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
